ABSURDUS apoPLEXUS
The road to dystopia is paved with utopian ideologies, a bravura in
belligerence and a penchant for brandishing one's engorged primacy over others.
THE ÜBER-SUPREMIUM LEADERS CLUB Member: Recep Tayyip Erdoğan
Mar 19, 2015
Erdoğan: Spreading the word
Subtle as ever, Turkish president-extraordinaire Erdogan, has admitted that he personally inspired Obama to initiate his now famous healthcare reform. When you have such a successful public healthcare model as Turkey, per Erdogan's thinking, it's not only polite but also imperative to share ...CONTINUE READING>>
Jan 24, 2015
Erdoğan: B Is For Blocking
It's a well publicized fact that Erdogan's vision of (neo-Ottoman) Turkey does not include a freewheeling internet the sort where people actually post what they think. He has said so bluntly in numerous occasions as well as attempted to gag it, albeit selectively, as often. Now, finally his planning ...CONTINUE READING>>
Jan 15, 2015
Erdoğan: If You've Got It, Flaunt It
There's no point of course in building a spectacular 1100-room presidential über-palace if you are not planning to showcase it, any seasoned exhibitionist will attest to that and that's exactly what the larger than life Turkish leader par excellence, Tayyip Erdogan, has started doing exactly that ...CONTINUE READING>>
Nov 13, 2014
Erdoğan: Big In Turkey & Then Some
You can say a lot of things against Recep Tayyip Erdogan but one thing you certainly cannot is that he doesn't think big. As a visionary politician aspiring for the tenet of true leadership, perpetual rule, thinking big is his default setting. "Never go smaller when you can go bigger" is rumored to ...CONTINUE READING >>
Jul 02, 2014
Erdoğan & the Handbook of Perpetual Rule
Democracy is a swell system of government but has a couple of slight glitches for those astute political leaders that are firm believers in the "leader-for-life" creed. Not only do they have to get voted back in office every once in a while, they also have to deal with term limits. ...CONTINUE READING >>
May 14, 2014
Press Freedom in Turkey: It's All Relative
Strong-willed, iron-fisted rulers have a thing for criticism, especially the kind generated by foreign entities or nationals, namely utter disdain and pathological hatred. The more authoritarian the overlord the more predictable the response which usually boils down to ...CONTINUE READING >>
Apr.16, 2014
Turkey: Segregation Pride
Turkey's government, scourge of social media yet vanguard of social progressiveness, has announced a policy of prison segregation for humanitarian purposes, starting with mainstream-sexuality-challenged incarcerated individuals. ...CONTINUE READING >>
Apr.08, 2014
Erdoğan: Doyen of the Multiverse
Science fiction is rife with theories and speculation about the notion of parallel/alternative universes and there's even a couple of half-decent films about it. But behold, here is a real case scenario courtesy of fiery-mouthed Erdoğan. ...CONTINUE READING >>
Apr.03, 2014 | HANDBOOK OF INTL.DIPLOMACY
Handbook of International Diplomacy―The Authoritarian Edition: Elicit support from adversarial countries by using their own fears against you
If you are seeking to undermine oppositional movements threatening your position which operate abroad (for domestic cases refer to Handbook of Domestic Governance/Subjugation) feel free to co-opt the very same arguments used against you by the foreign entities. In this test case, you can observe Erdogan's levelheaded approach to convince Russia to "kick out" Gulen's local operatives by accusing them of stocking irredentism in favor a "Greater Turkey".
Mar.28, 2014
Erdoğan: A Man of his Word
Despite his sincere efforts and eloquent pronouncements to ban the Internet, website by website, Erdoğan has been encountering several obstacles lately, from the judiciary (mistakenly believing its independence to be a figure of speech) to the Tech Companies providing loopholes (mistakenly considering himself as their overlord). Being a man of his word this situation must be very frustrating for him. He must be quite nostalgic for the blessed days of yonder past (pre-www) when a forthright PM defending his honor, his pride and (always) national security, could with a courteous phone-call shut down an offending news outlet (e.g. a slanderous newspaper or a propagandist radio station), have villainous individuals locked away with a whimsical yet melodious whistle, or have the power of treacherous corporations switched off with a wave of the hand.
Mar.24, 2014
Erdoğan vs Posse of Dark Forces
On the unfolding roster of scourges that have befallen Turkey, according to Erdogan, and after the shaming of the "entity called Twitter, this YouTube, this Facebook" (we can imagine his disgust even pronouncing "this THING called Facebook"... the horror, the horror!) for their ...CONTINUE READING >>
Mar.21, 2014
Erdoğan: Glossary of Interdiction
Another day, another Erdogan exclamation about a ban. At least he has been working on his vocabulary after hiting a wall with the self-referential "ban the ban". In the spirit of this improved eloquence (see "Eradicate!" & "Wipe Out!"), lets give him a hand with some suggestions ...CONTINUE READING >>
Mar.20, 2014
Erdoğan & Crimea: The Dream that Was not Ment to Be
According to the 1783 Treaty of Küçük Kaynarca, "if Crimea declares its independence, it must return to Turkish control". I guess if Erdogan was not now tied up in scandal frenzy and dealing with public discontent, he might have been all over this ...CONTINUE READING >>
Mar.20, 2014
Erdoğan: New AK Party Motto "Ban to the Ban"
I dont know how "We will bring a ban to the ban" sounds in Turkish (probably as farcical but more "giaourtlouish"), but it's a safe bet to make that the more pissed he gets, the more things he wants to ban and he's not afraid to articulate it.
Jan.12, 2014
Turkish Parliament: Playing Catch (Up) with Technology
It may be atavistic to ignite a parliament brawl like the one in the Turkish Parliament, all punches, flying kicks and airborne miscellanea, but at least there is some kind of prestige when iPad-throwing is involved, albeit not the bragging kind, considering only one was accounted for and even its model is undocumented (for all we know it could be a 1st generation iPad). Some wide-angle footage of the flying kick might also help determine if it was performed with any grace and can therefore be used for promo TV spots.
Mar.07, 2014
Erdogan: The Ideology of Prohibitions
I expected more from Erdogan than these half-baked promises to shut down Facebook and YouTube! Why not outlaw all telecommunications so people can revert back to the warm bosom of epistolography and carrier-pigeon breeding, thereby simultaneously improving their penmanship and increase their protein intake?
Feb.06, 2014
Turkey: The Relativity of Freedom
Turkish Deputy Prime Minister: "We are freer compared to many other countries and have freedom of the press". Well, yes of course, if your baseline is Saudi Arabia or Mars.