THE ÜBER-SUPREMIUM LEADERS CLUB

 

Honorary Members:

Kim Jong-unVladimir Putin

Permanent Members:

Recep Tayyip ErdoğanBashar Hafez al-Assad, Robert Mugabe, Yoweri Museveni, Alexander LukashenkoHassanal Bolkiah

Tentative Members:

Donald Trump, Nicolás Maduro, Ilham Aliyev, Ramzan Akhmadovich KadyrovBlaise Compaoré

In-Memoriam Members:

(for those still pulling strings from the great beyond)

Hugo Chavez, Kim Jong-il

CHARTER

 

The Charter of Uber-Supremium Leaders Club is inviolable and immutable. All Members are obliged to honor and abide by the terms set forth herein. Disregard or contravention of these terms is frown upon and can result in unfortunate consequences for the offender (including but not limited to death).

 

1(a). General Purpose: To bring together likeminded visionary Leaders (as in able to have visions, prophetic or otherwise) in a bragging forum for mutual adulation and applause. Members are encouraged to engage in spirited competition over the incredulity and awesomeness of their leadership skills, their world impact, their attire and the style of their entourage. Countries, entities or persons hostile to any Member are to be despised and taunted by all Members in the fraternal spirit of the Club.

 

1(b). Specific Purpose: To better study and develop the art of democracy-subversion through appropriation and ridicule.

 

2(a). Membership - Eligibility: New members are required to (A) have secured perpetual (statutory or otherwise) leadership of their State (B) exercise Absolute Dominion over their subjects and affairs, (C) aspire for World Domination with tangible efforts, (D) demonstrate a sense of humor (inadvertent or otherwise) and (E) be the Personality in a personality cult. New Members to be inducted require the approval of all Permanent Members. New Members shall at first be considered Tentative for a grace period of 13 years or pending a unique demonstrative endeavor that impresses the quorum. There is no grace period for new Members of hereditary ascendance. 

 

2(b). Membership - Status: Permanent Members are eligible for becoming Honorary Members if they have demonstrated concise, dedicated and extraordinary megalomania and have earned at least three (3) MUSS titles (see §7). Validation of Honorary status requires a unanimous vote of all Members. 

 

2(c). Membership - Terms: Membership for Permanent & Honorary Members is for life pending failure to comply with the Club's spirit of engagement (see §10). In the event of physical death, a Permanent Member can convert his membership to In-Memoriam status on the discretion of his credited successor, pending the exultation of their legacy (to be debated and unanimously agreed at special plenary session). For Honorary Members the conversion to In-Memoriam Members is automatic upon termination of life.

 

3. Presidency: Rotating every leap year (In-Memoriam Members excluded from roster if not able to demonstrate active participation during the preceding period). Permanent & Honorary Members are entitled to claim the Presidency post at any point if current President is presumed unauthoritative, doomed or dead, in a FCFS basis (first-come, first-served). The President reserves the right to cancel the Club's regular meetings, schedule emergency meetings, issue warnings to Members contravening Club rules and regulations and veto pretty much anything he deems fit to be vetoed.

 

4. Meetings: Meetings shall be conducted bimonthly. Due the occasional travel restriction sometimes imposed on Members and the reluctance of some Members to reveal their height or hand size, physical meetings are reserved for momentous and/or apocalyptic occasions. Regular meetings are to be conducted in a virtual manner in a secure online fashion (Skype or Facetime). In case of a Member having banned the internet from his dominion or destroyed the necessary infrastructure he can participate through speaker-phone (call-collect charges apply). In case of a Member having also banned telephony or the necessary infrastructure, he will receive a transcript of the meeting within 10 working days (Members should submit 12 stamped self-addresses envelopes for this contingency). 

 

5. Voting Terms: Voting rules and regulations are defined by the acting President at the beginning of his term. The President has the right to alter or replace voting rules as he pleases whenever he pleases. Members have the right to ignore and subvert voting rules as they please.

 

6. Motions: Members can submit Motions for the Club's approval and adoption. Adoption of Motions has to be unanimous (including In Memoriam Members) of those present. Motions are non-binding and only serve as guidance and inspiration for Members.

 

7. Honorific Titles: Members vote annually for the title of Master Uber Supremium Sovereign (MUSS) for that Member that has demonstrated during the preceding year exceptional and exemplary accomplishments as described in the membership requirements. Members vote bicentennially for the title of Foremost Uber Supremium Schissmaster (FUSS) for extraordinary impact during the preceding period. Members cannot be considered for a MUSS without a FUSS. 

 

8. Disclosure Policy: Disclosure of Club proceeding and/or related information by any Member or ex-Member (living or otherwise) to non-Members or the public at large is not forbidden per se but frowned upon and is conducted at the Member's own peril.

 

9. Decorum: Members are advised to refrain from inflicting catastrophic blows to the domains of fellow Members if they do not absolutely need or want to. In the event that they do, total annihilation is preferred to avoid awkwardness at the future Club meeting. 

 

10. Exit Clause: Voluntary withdrawal from the Club is prohibited. Members can only be expelled though deadly or incapacitating force. A Member is liable for expulsion if he (A) fails to retain absolute power, (B) cooperates or exhibits any degree of camaraderie with any country or entity hostile to other Members, and (C) becomes a convert to the ideology of democracy and/or liberalism (apostasy).