ABSURDUS apoPLEXUS

It is expected of religious institutions to have a knack for euphemism, and the Catholic Church is no stranger to this. In fact the Vatican is vying to be a champion in this glorious linguistic field. On the occasion of the Pope's recent decision not to shut down the Vatican bank let's take a proverbial dip in the holy sea of euphemisms.

 

>> Institute for Works of Religion (IOR) >> The aforementioned bank, for decades a money laundering joint, like a Cayman Islands bank but with much better murals.

 

>> Administration of the Patrimony of the Apostolic See (APSA) >> The Vatican's asset management branch, akin to a private investment bank only this one staffed by cassock wearing bankers who do not tip cocktail waitresses very well.

 

>> Authority of Financial Information (AIF) >> Financial authority overseeing the IOR, namely a coterie of gold-trimmed tunic attired older males (apparently not very keen on neither the financial nor the information part of the job).

 

>> Prefecture for the Economic Affairs of the Holy See >> Financial authority overseeing the Vatican's finances (though not the IOR as the boys at the AIF are doing such a swell job), basically the same coterie as above with white mozettas and matching rochets.

 

>> Pontifical Referring Commission to the IOR (CRIOR) >> Same bunch, full choir dress.

 

Pope rules Vatican bank to stay operative, approves reforms