ABSURDUS apoPLEXUS

In a bid to catch up with fellow Club Member Assad's enemies-of-the-state score list, North Korea's cheeky leader Kim junior ("Dearest Leader" to his next-of-kin, "Oh Dearest Forever & Ever Leader" to the rest), has come up with a speedy round of executions for some members of his extended family (from his mother's side, Kim was never fond of that side).

 

Nothing to elaborate, just the usual Pyongyang hoopla with somber fireworks and perfunctory choreography of national jubilation (attendance by all citizens not shackled to home piping or in labor camps is mandatory). In his magnanimous and soulful disposition, Kim spared the lives of all family members of the condemned and granted to each and every one of them exclusive (and permanent) access to the most sough-after forced-labor camp destinations ("forced" applies only if one shows lack of initiative) at the country's sunny Riviera.

 

North Korea to reportedly execute 200 officials believed loyal to Kim Jong-un uncle