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Jun 20, 2014 | US MADNESS

The Cheneys: Who's Afraid of the VP's Oomph?

It is a safe bet when you read axiomatic superlatives regarding the American nation like the following: "The greatest force for good the world has ever known", in the context of an advocacy group, a zealous political speech or on Fox News, that you are dealing with some permutation of the good-ol' fashion conservative agenda of gung-ho patriotism and moral-highest-ground.


The aforementioned quote is taken from the promotional  material of "Alliance for a strong America", the Cheneys' (orchestrator extraordinaire, amateur quail-hunter, patriarch Dick and part-time sidekick, one-time senatorial hopeful, daughter Liz) new advocacy venture,  and therefore the family name alone is enough to blindfoldedly locate the ideological locus of that initiative on the relevant scatter plot of  sociopolitical sanity. 

But lest one needs further evidence on the bedrock of conceitedness and smugness this endeavor is erected upon, here is the succinct description of its own founder from its website: "The most powerful and consequential vice president in American history".


Of course there is no point in spending time or space refuting Dick's argumentation on who is categorically to blame about the current mess in Iraq (hint, not him) and who did such a swell job beforehand only to see it trampled on and tossed away by a wrongheaded, dangerous President (hint, him). Apart from being pedantic, doing so would entail stooping to the absurdist, dissonant level of those arguments, and next thing you know you are trying to assert that the earth is not flat, that Lady Gaga's gigs are not performance art or that pregnant women dancing naked in the moon will not speed labor.  


It is though interesting to note that on the subject of invading Iraq, even in the face of irrefutable proof (lack of weapons of mass destruction) and in the blazing light of hindsight (prolonged engagement - dubious consequences), Dick cannot be swayed one iota in the righteousness of his decision to invade. As he explains it (to Fox News' Megyn Kelly), everybody really, REALLY believed that Saddam was on a WMD shopping spree at the time, which perfectly encapsulates his way of thinking, namely that when you really, REALLY believe something to be true, so called evidence, physical, factual or otherwise,  can be swept under the rug. It is a case of courageous conviction over stale reality, spirit over matter, baloney over Parma Ham, in a word, anti-intellectual.


Typical of this mentality is the Cheneys' assertion in their op-ed spearheading their new advocacy, that "without American pre-eminence, there can be no world order". I guess the post-WWII era of American supremacy (until Barack's tenure that is) is a testament to this, but then again only if by "world order" you mean a time when wars popped  up as often as LOLcats on your Facebook feed.


Another interesting tidbit Dick & Liz mention in their op-ed, is that on their latest Middle Eastern trip, concerned citizens barraged them with rhetorical, scathing questions about Obama's apparently misguided and downright mad policies, which presumably kept these fine people up at night. People were firing questions from left to right, day and night; someone even pulled out a map. Now, they don't tell us who all these distressed people were, so we are left wondering. Where they key government ministers? Oil-rich business players? High-level diplomats? Hamid at the Hilton concierge? Fatimah at the 1000 nights waxing salon? Bibi Netanyahu? 

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