ABSURDUS apoPLEXUS

Feb.17, 2014

Switzerland has some akward news forone of its neighbors

"Switzerland has refused to sign a proposed deal granting Croatians free access to the Swiss employment market. Both countries had agreed the deal last summer after Croatia joined the European Union " - BBC

 

The phone rings, Croatia picks up.

 

CROATIA: Molim.

 

SWITZERLAND: Hallo neighbor! This is Switzerland.

 

CROATIA: Halo, how are you?

 

SWITZERLAND: I am ok. I am just calling cause we have a teeny-tiny problem with the open-house party on Saturday.

 

CROATIA: Oh? I already RSVPed on FB. The kids are thrilled!

 

SWITZERLAND: Well, yes, about that... it's my old ones you see, Celine and Christoph. They sprung this idea on me, just yesterday mind you(!), of maybe keeping the thing family-members-only.

 

CROATIA: ...

 

SWITZERLAND: You know... what with our house being not that big and all those handmade papier-mâché party-hats so painstaking and time consuming to make...

 

CROATIA: ...

 

SWITZERLAND: It's their party you know, so I can't really object.

 

CROATIA: But I thought we were practically family now that we're moving in with Brussels!

 

SWITZERLAND: Oh but of course you are! But you know how adolescents can be... They are going through this introspective phase and they're quite snappy right now, there's no arguing with them.

 

CROATIA: Hmm...

 

SWITZERLAND: Don't take it personally! Brussels is un-invited as well!

 

CROATIA: This is quite disappointing... I had little Petar's and Ivan's outfits all worked out. They even made a playlist I though your kids would love.

 

SWITZERLAND: Oh I m sure they would have! Though I do have to say that they're more into folk music nowadays. Specifically the kind performed with a lute, an alphorn and a set of cowbells.

 

CROATIA: Ivan can play the lute!

 

SWITZERLAND: Yes, but can he play it while yodeling the Kühreihen and dancing the Ländler?

 

CROATIA: I don't know about that...

 

SWITZERLAND: You see! They wouldn't enjoy the activities anyway. Plus they'd probably get mocked for their fondue manners and clumsy clock-winding skills... You know how disparaging teens can be sometimes.

 

CROATIA: ...

 

SWITZERLAND: Well, glad we had this lovely catch-up. Auf wiederhören!

Switzerland declines to sign Croatia free movement deal