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Japan: No news from the extraterrestrial front


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We regret to inform you that no unidentified flying object (UFO) has yet to be detected or accosted in our sovereign airspace by any of our systems. Please note that this in no way disproves the existence of extraterrestrials or alters our deep-seated belief that there are alien life-forms somewhere out there vying to contact us. Be assured that when they do finally visit us, they will be cordially met and graciously introduced to our nation. Unless they intend to annihilate us, in which case we shall shoot them down.

Be safe.

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