ABSURDUS apoPLEXUS

On the heels of a not that flattering (namely, downright vilifying) UN report on N. Korea and in a textbook case of international counter-criticism (the Authoritarian Edition), the unicorn-frequented specimen-country lashed out against their archenemy, the "Tundra of a human being's rights to existence", aka "Living Hell", aka United States of America, with a scathing critique of American society, focusing in particular on those blatantly abominable issues which the N. Koreans themselves have successfully encountered and remedied long ago.

 

Symptomatic of all capitalistic nations but especially in the USA, income inequality is a telltale sign of societal decadence and governance failure. In contrast, in North Korea there is paramount equality: all citizens are dirt-poor scavengers with equal opportunities to malnutrition and illness. They may not have 3D TVs, SUVs and shoes but they are crucially spared of enviously watching their neighbor enjoy those same things. In the same vein, whereas America has 300.000 unemployed people scraping a living off their compatriots' taxes, the N. Korean government has banned by decree unemployment altogether. Any person claiming to be unemployed is whisked to a labor camp for a lifetime of joyful employment.

 

Another egregious problem of the American system is the large incarcerated population that requires an ever expanding stock of prisons and which tears the fabric of society apart. Again, the N. Koreans are pioneers in this field with the ingenious concept of preemptively turning the whole country into a maximum security prison, thereby eliminating the costs of investigations, long-running trials and appeals, as well as refraining from building separate institutions to house the convicted. Statistically speaking most people would sooner or later commit a crime, an infraction or a misdemeanor so this is a win-win strategy. On a philosophical level, you cannot lose your freedom if you do not have any, so incarcerated citizens have therefore been liberated from such bourgeois anxieties. This scheme has enabled N. Korean society to deepen its cohesiveness and embrace itself in its solitary confinement.

 

Kim III himself has been leading the nation by example and whereas Obama squanders "hundred millions of dollars on his foreign trip(s)", he is wisely squandering billions domestically (see his exclusive luxurious ski-resort and the Pyongyang pyramid-cum-hotel-cum-rocket-lancher).

 

North Korea: Life in US is a 'living hell'