ABSURDUS apoPLEXUS

The UK has never been the staunchest or most committed EU groupie and in fact it has the knack of regularly demanding concessions and exemptions. Coupled with a Tory-helmed government, eurosceptic by nature but getting more so by the minute as way to woo voters away from the UKIP party that has been making considerable electoral advancements, it's no surprise that things have heated up lately.

 

Take for example, David Cameron's, the British Prime Minister, plans to impose quotas for EU workers. Considering that the concept of free movement is a cornerstone of the EU project, this proposal is anathema to Brussels and immediately elicited vehement protestations from the European Commission. There is also the issue of an additional payment of £1.7 billion the UK is asked to pay into the EU coffers to compensate for its economy performing better than the EU budget calculations had allowed for since 1995. The British government of course thinks this is unfair and has so far declined to cough up the money. In retaliation, the European Commission has imposed interest charges to be increased with each month of non-payment. So all in all, UK-EU relations are pretty tense and chilly at the moment, with each side not budging an inch.

 

And now, the strongest EU player and kingpin of the Eurozone, Germany, has weighted in via its Chancellor, Angela Merkel, and she's practically calling Cameron's bluff. He may have expected a please-don't-go and let's-work-it-out sort of tune but what he got was the following:

 

First I was afraid
I was stupefied
Kept thinking I could never live
without you on my council side
But then I spent such summit nights

thinking how you'd raise a storm  
I grew strong
I learned how to get shit done.
 

And so you bark
way off base

I m just surprised to hear you jeer

with such a populist poker face
I should have changed that stupid treaty
I should have chucked your rebate plea

If I had known for just one second
you'd be glad to smother me.
 

Go on now go

through the back door
and take your pound now
'cause you're not needed anymore

weren't you the one who tried to give me the evil eye

you think I'd stumble, you think I'd reform or die
Oh no, not I

I will thrive
as long as I know how to shove

I know I'll be revived

I've got the ECB to please

I've got my spreads to freeze

and I'll thrive
I will thrive (hey hey).