ABSURDUS apoPLEXUS

It is a fact that Crimea is dependent on mainland Ukraine for many necessities, like electricity and gas, and that Ukraine would be in a favorable position to exploit this as it would take time for Russia to fully cater the region's needs.

 

Nobody though expected such a low blow, such a cruel and inhuman ploy, to deprive Crimeans of their Big Macs, Chicken Nuggets and their dignity, in an obvious attempt to destroy the morale of the pro-annexation, yet fast-food-loving, Russophones. Russia's countermeasure of extending its gas-pipe network to the region in order to pump vodka to every household is precariously chugging along so the Kremlin is counting on the backup plan of having Russian soldiers, dressed as Roland McDonald the clown, tour the cities handing out barbeque sauce sachets to disgruntled patrons.

 

McDonald's 'temporarily closes' Crimea restaurants