ABSURDUS apoPLEXUS

Unshackled from the restraints of critical media, insubordinate public servants, free-thinking academics, independent judges, a coup-prone military and upholding human rights, Turkish President Erdoğan can now finally unleash his inner goddess to rule the country in the manner she deserves and in the process gold-leaf as many door-knobs, bidets and statues of himself that his heart desires.

In his acceptance speech at the GOP convention, Donald Trump broached all the usual hits of his campaign like building the wall, crushing ISIS and expelling all illegal aliens such as Mexican rapists, Syrian refugees and Japanese pokemon.

Melania Trump gave a rousing speech at the GOP convention in Cleveland where she reminisced about growing up in Yugoslavia under Tito, an autocratic President-for-life who ruled the country with an iron fist until his death, and explained how she's looking forward reviving these fond memories under a Trump presidency.

Despite being a harsh critic of social media in the past, Turkish president Tayyip Erdoğan successfully used them on the night of the attempted coup to rally his supporters. Sources close to the President have said that he got some advice from a renown expert in the field in return for a more nuanced approach on the issue of the Armenian genocide. His debut on Snapchat is eagerly anticipated!

You probably wont be surprises to learn that Donald Trump 's top VP contender is Newt Gingrich, an older white male of staunchly conservative bona fides. In a recent rally in Ohio when Newt made a guest appearance, Trump supporters sounded very enthusiastic about him though their fervor may have been aimed against ISIS, Mexico or "crooked Hillary".

As any prudent politician would do facing the awkward moment were he would have to deliver on his promises, Nigel Farage has resigned as UKIP's leader, delighted as he said to have his life back which he assured the public will not go to waste (as opposed to the lives of his fellow countrymen post-brexit).

Donald Trump was in Scotland the day after the UK referendum promoting his golf courses and couldn't resist the chance to make everything that was going on about himself.

Another day, another mega-project Turkish President Tayyip Erdogan inaugurates with fanfare. This time it was a suspension bridge named after the 1st Sultan of the Ottoman Empire. Considering that there were only about 30-something of them, it wont be long before they run out and therefore have to find a new one which Erdogan will be more than happy to oblige.